Hourglass
by Solemn.Flight
Summary: Each and every one of us has our individual hourglass, spilling grains of sand that measure our own time. The key to life is to find out how to turn this hourglass over and give ourselves another chance.
1. Prologue

_**New story! I hope you like it… please R&R!**_

Hourglass

_Prologue_

I used to belong to the Hayatane clan. Really, I did. Lying about this wouldn't get me anywhere. My twin and I were borne to the Hayatane clan and emerged with the Hayatane Kekkai Genkai, ability to control wind and ice in unison. My surname was Hayatane until the day I left Konohagakure.

I fit right in in Mist Country… for a while. I was trained to Chuunin level there, manipulating my Kekkai Genkai and steadily getting stronger with my twin. Well, Kira told me she needed a change of climate… so, one day, we left. There was no remorse in leaving. We weren't close to anyone; well, except our teammate; but one person definitely couldn't stop us.

We traveled for days, caring only for each other and nothing else in the world, not thinking of the two homes we'd left behind, our past didn't… matter. We'd never been truly happy, but we figured that was natural. When we arrived in a queer, rather large village in the middle of a vast desert, we decided to stay. It was unusual, just the way we liked it. Maybe we'd still be much more different from the rest. Who knew?

My given name is Sora. It's the one thing I didn't change about myself when I left Konohagakure. Sora means sky, and Kira is used in reference to something that shines. Hayatane means… well, nothing. What's the point of a name if it doesn't mean anything?

We stayed a while in Sunagakure before we figured we liked it, we were going to stay. Might as well let people know where we're from. We stuck "Suna no" in front of our names. Rather nice-sounding, for both of us. Now I guess _that's_ our surname… it means something.

Of course we were by ourselves. We were living in some empty house for like a week and then we struck out and trained, living on a figurative battlefield. Until… well, we got caught by some tough-looking girl maybe three years older than us, with dark blonde hair and a gigantic fan folded and tucked in a weapon holder around her back.

Well, we… didn't know who she was. Our first instinct was to attack. But right as we were coming in with our combination jutsu, _Nami Kaze_, she asked us if we'd come stay with her. That she was part of the Kazekage's family and they'd noticed us.

_Who or what is Kazekage?_ we'd wondered. The girl had introduced herself as Temari and this guy wearing black and with purple face-paint had come up and introduced himself as Kankurou and Temari's brother. Siblings? Never seen an unlikelier pair.

Having the vague past my sister and I did, we didn't believe or trust them. And we launched our combination jutsu, but before it hits, a wave of sand encompassed them. We'd attempted to force our jutsus through the sand barrier – as it seemingly came out of nowhere, it shouldn't have been so strong – but the sand just caught our jutsu and then it caught us. When it cleared away some other person was standing in front of the other two.

…He, he was different. The most noble-looking person I'd seen, though he couldn't have been more than a year older than us. He was wearing somehow exotic-looking white robes, and a certain unexplainable sense of dignity stood about him. The sand had apparently come from the gourd he wore over his back. With dark scarlet hair and the character "Ai" etched upon his forehead, standing tall with his arms crossed, he gazed intently at us with those focused pale green eyes.

"I'm Sabaku no Gaara, the Kazekage of this country," he'd said in a calm, quiet, yet penetratingly clear voice.

And all of a sudden it seemed we knew exactly what that was. The noble leader of the Hidden Sand Village, of the Wind Country… Kazekage. _Gaara of the Desert…_

Wordlessly he turned and walked away. Temari and Kankurou motioned for us to follow them and walked away.

And despite ourselves we turned and walked after them.


	2. Of Difficult Questions

_Chapter One_

_Of Difficult Questions_

This was six months ago.

"You were such a cold person then," comments Temari, as she leans back on her hands for an even better view of the sunset.

Lightly fingering my necklace, I stare off into the Sunagakure sky's magical colors. I wait awhile before replying. "Was I able to improve… even a little, since then?"

"Well, we can't just forget your past and your personality."

"No."

"But you are improving. Maybe you finally realize you've found your true family."

"Then why… then why are you the only one that is opening up to me? A family – people whom relationships with meaning stand behind. Why are you the only one trying to live up to this definition?"

Temari sighs, adding some to the wind that is passing through her dark yellow hair. "Kankurou is always with Kira. You know that, you've pointed it out before. And Gaara, well… he's… just Gaara."

_She's always been better, faster at making friends than me. At Mist she'd befriended all kinds of people I'd never even heard of. These people didn't know that she had a sister_, I reflect. But, come to think of it, it would be really difficult having many friends. It would be so troublesome… so loud. Isn't it so much better remaining alone?

But there had always been one, just one person who'd interested me. Genuine interest… not just what jutsus he could perform, how talented he was, whether I could beat him if we fought. I wanted to know about his past, about everything that happened to him to make him the way he is today. I knew about him… but I'd always wanted to know the origins of that knowledge.

"What's on your mind, Sora?"

"Why?"

"You just said my brother's name."

"Temari, what happened to him…?"

"But, you know…"

"Yes… I know about the _Ichibi_. What I also want to know is why… why, and how it affected him besides giving him his abilities with sand. What role did his past play in bringing him to the Fifth Kazekage's coronation and to this day?"

"Sora, I don't know him very well. Maybe you should ask him."

"You're his sister…"

"But I don't know him very well."

"It's been a couple months, Temari. If it was that easy, it should have happened a long time ago."

"You know enough about him to know that he's withdrawn and solitary… probably just as much as you are. And maybe you're the object of his own interest as he is to you."

"What could I be to him?" I ask, extending a hand. "Except for someone whom he once had to save his siblings from?"

"You didn't know us then." Temari's voice has risen a few degrees. "He didn't know you then."

"He still doesn't know me."

"It's not always going to be like that, you have to understand, Sora. This is your home now. And the people that live here are part of your family."

If I was Kira, accepting this fact would be easier. I would make it easier for everyone in my village to get along with me, and I would try to spend time with more people to be known throughout the city. But I'm not Kira, I'm her sister… and it's difficult for me. But Temari's words resound over and over again. Maybe I do have to start taking steps. Maybe it's time I let myself into his life.

Him, as in Kazekage Sabaku no Gaara…

"It's time that you learn what you want to know," Temari says.


	3. Of New Beginnings

_Chapter Two_

_Of New Beginnings_

"Where are you going?" Kira asks, as she places yet another framed photograph of her and Kankurou on the wall of her side of our room. My side of our room is completely blank.

"Up to the roof," I reply, walking away toward the door.

"Why?"

"Just to get some air." I button up my jacket and step into one of the many hallways of the Kazekage mansion. Temari's words ringing in my head, I turn corner after corner until I reach the Kazekage's office. Passing through a door adjacent to the one to the office, I step out onto the warm sand of the roof. It's not the first time I've been up here, as I have the privilege of living on the top floor, but I've never been up here at this time.

_Beautiful._

That one word that's so unfamiliar to me is all that comes to mind. The stars seem within arm's reach. The moon, in their midst, seems to light the world as well as the sun does in daytime, despite its shape and size. I'm instantly bathed in light, as I realize why this is the place Gaara always chooses for his refuge.

It takes me no time to locate him. He's sitting straight on the edge of the roof, his gaze forward instead of up or down. His dark red hair appears silvery-red in the moonlight.

I begin my slow walk forward again, stopping a few yards behind him. The light seems to intensify with every step I take closer to the edge of the roof.

"Sora. Why are you here?"

That calm, quiet, yet penetratingly clear voice I hadn't heard since those months ago on the day I met him and his siblings for the first time…

When I don't respond immediately, he turns around and stands up. "I'll leave."

"No… don't."

The words are out before I can think, before I can stop them. Gaara falls silent, stopping in his tracks. After what seems like an endless moment, he turns around and walks back over to the edge of the roof, slowly sitting down. I sit down beside him and we sit in silence for awhile before he speaks.

"Why would you want to be here?"

"Tell me who you are." I briefly turn to him, seeing his clear eyes momentarily widen at the new words.

"Why are you…?"

_How am I acting this way? It's like my body, my mouth is moving on my own. I don't think I can act this way by my accord. So what's going on?_

"You're like me, Gaara."

_Gaara. Not Kazekage-sama, not even Gaara-sama, but just Gaara._ There is an extended silence.

"Is that so?..." he says. Sighing, his gaze turns down; when he speaks again, it is in no more than a whisper. "What's with you…? This isn't you."

_This isn't me. But this person – whoever it is – is doing the right thing._

"No. No, it's not." My gaze follows his, "Maybe the true me wasn't strong enough today."

Backing away from the edge of the roof, I stand up, beginning to walk away. "This is all I wanted you to know… that you might not be as alone as you think."

I hear him sigh, his gaze still lowered. Taking another step forward, I continue off this roof and out of this beautiful night.

"Sora."

I stop in my tracks.

"So far, my existence… has it been able to mean something to anyone…? Or am I still not taking the right path?"

_Already, he expects me to know. Expects me to have meant it when I said he's like me._

"I don't know why, Gaara, but it means the world to me."

I leave the strange silence so complete that it seems tangible behind and walk on.


	4. Of Losing Grip

**Note: I guess you could call this more of a "staller" chapter, since nothing too much happens in it. But I also didn't want something too important to happen in every chapter. I'm expecting my ending chapters to be like that.**

**Thanks to those who spent precious time reading and reviewing my past chapters, and sorry it's been taking a bit of time to update this story. I've written it almost all out by hand, but it occasionally gets troublesome to type everything out. Bear with me for now.**

_Chapter Three_

_Of Losing Grip_

Throwing a kunai into the air, I guide it with the wind in Kira's direction. She blocks it with her automatic ice shield (_Kori no Tate_) and, quickly repelling the shield, catches it.

"This is an understatement, but you haven't exactly gotten worse since the last time I've seen you," Kira comments as she hurls the kunai back at me; my own _Kori no Tate_ blocks it.

I nod. "Yeah, it's the same way with you. Your shield is a lot faster."

"Shouldn't you practice more with other people?"

"It's better training alone because there's not always people who are at the same level as you on hand." I spin the kunai into the air and catch it.

"You don't need to be at the same level as the people you train with. It's all about helping the other person improve."

"You're either holding someone else back or being held back. It doesn't work that way."

Kira sighs. "You'll change your mind someday. We can practice jutsus if you'd like."

"Miracle you're not with Kankurou-dono today," I comment as I prepare for _Nami Kaze_. "It seems every waking moment you spend with him."

"He's busy today, he says. I think he's helping Kazekage-sama with paperwork and such."

_Gaara…_ I think. "Well, that's good. Best if you take some time on your own."

"Only if the person's like you," Kira shoots back. "You'll never lean anything if you don't start, I don't know, _believing_ in people. I learned that when I met Kankurou."

A half-smile crosses my face. _I've learned plenty_, I think but don't say. One's own record is always the hardest to break. "Have you practiced our combination jutsu at all?"

Kira grins sheepishly. "Well… the whole time, Kankurou was teaching me about puppet jutsu and I wanted to teach him how to perform elemental control, but too bad this is a _Kekkai Genkai_…" She looked up at me. "I've improved in a lot of other aspects, though. Maybe I could show you sometime…"

_I cannot believe this person and I are twins._ "Exactly," I say sharply, cutting her off. "Let's try again… do you _remember_ it…?"

"I think so." She looks around briefly. "The seals are monkey, ram, dragon,… ox, dog, maybe?"

"I can't tell if you're... kidding, or if you've just… changed." I stare down at the ground as my preparations drop. "That jutsu was the most important thing to us. I've practiced it every day."

"Well, we can try it, and I'll pick it up along the way…" she starts.

"Forget it. This jutsu can't just be performed on a whim. Maybe after a day of practice, we can try it again. The seals are monkey, ram, dragon, hare, ox, and bird." I'm about to turn and walk away.

"Do you have somewhere to be?" Kira asks.

"I actually do." _I'll go see Temari… possibly train with her, who actually does. It's not like she spends time with Shikamaru every minute._ "The seals are monkey, ram, dragon, hare, ox, and bird."

A platform of ice materializes, and wind surrounds it, pulling it more securely into place and enhancing its speed. Discouraged, I crouch onto it and rise up into the air. This is a jutsu Kira doesn't have. We control the same elements but use them in different ways, mostly according to our temperaments. Chakra sensing is another technique exclusive to me. Focusing my jutsu on Temari's chakra, I release the wind, finding her presence immediately. She's a little closer than I thought.

"Put your fingers down, for goodness' sake, I'm here." Temari is flying toward me from the left on a platform of her own wind. I release my jutsu, replacing my right hand against the surface of the dual-element platform. "Let me guess, you got bored training alone?"

I laugh a little. "Hardly. I'm just waiting for Kira to remember our jutsu."

"Some other day I think Gaara was commenting on how you practice a lot and wondering don't you get tired working that much?" Temari grins. "Him, outwardly showing concern. It was kind of strange."

"I guess it's some kind of outlet. You know, when otherwise I'm by myself, while I'm training I'm not, because I'm using my jutsus…" I trail off, realizing I absolutely don't have a way with words.

"No, I get it! Anyway… which jutsu did she forget?"

"The one I attacked you with," I mumble under my breath.

"You can't possibly still be thinking about that," Temari says. "I barely even remember it."

We land on a cliffside bordering Sunagakure and dispel our suspension jutsus. The cliff we've landed on faces east and we find ourselves staring directly at the now completely risen sun.

"Your training goes okay, right? This is Wind Country, but there's no ice here and not much water for you to freeze," Temari inquires. A question she should know the answer to.

"I can freeze water, sure, but I have my own chakra-enhanced elements easier for me to control," I tell her.

"Then you're just like Gaara," Temari says, making me wonder if that was the point she had been trying to make. "I wonder sometimes if it's hard being Kazekage at fifteen."

"He can handle the responsibility… I know that much about him. I wish I knew more about how he grew up, though. Maybe it affected the way he is today… people's young lives usually do."

Temari is suddenly quiet. I look over at her.

"I'm not sure you want to know about his childhood."

"Why's that?"

"It might be too much for you. You might not be able to handle the facts once you have them."

"Nothing's going to be too much for me. It's what I've always wanted to know. Tell me, Temari."

She sighs. "I'm not sure of details, I wasn't there when most of the things that happened to him did, but I'm positive he remembers… ask him if you want, but remember what I told you."

With a resolution to get to know him as soon as possible, I turn, facing the sun. "Let's train…" Usin one hand I send chakra-enhanced wind flying in the direction of the other cliffside. Shurikens suddenly materialize in the wind and collide with the cliffside. Upon making contact, they continue on, leaving deep imprints before vanishing as I close my hand.

"So that's your _Kaze Shuriken_?" I nod. "Not bad," she replies, "You control when to dispel them, right?"

"Half of my elemental control is hand movements. The other half is by directed thought," I explain.

"Like most people. Do you have imprisoning jutsus?"

I nod, "_Arashirou_. It's a combination of my elements to catch the opponent in some kind of barrier. Not too different from your _Kazeroya_."

"Those come in handy," Temari replies. "Do you have an absolute defense?"

"That too. But I don't like to use it too often. It takes up too much chakra, and it doesn't disappear unless you have enough chakra to dispel it – I've never learned how to fix that part of my jutsu."

Using two fingers I control a gust of wind over my head that propels an ice crystal in a straight line. It collides with the other cliffside wall. I close my hand into a fist. A wave of chakra travels through the air, then the ice implodes into the wall before disintegrating.

"What's that one?"

"_Kori no Kokubin_… it has decent accuracy and I don't have to move an inch." I smile, watching the jutsu fade. "I like these jutsus."

"What kind does Kira know?"

"Hm, I guess more people would call her 'stronger,' though I'm not entirely sure what that means… that concept is different per person. She uses more of those jutsus that require her to get up and run… her taijutsu is better than most, so she combines it with her ninjutsu."

"Do you ever use this method?"

"Of course not… we have really different views on using jutsus. To me, that jutsu is childish, and to her, my jutsus are good ways of using up more chakra than necessary for an effective jutsu. But I really don't like attacks that are too direct, and I don't like using taijutsu."

"Most people are like her, I assume," Temari nods. "But I'm a long-distance type like you. You'd be a tough opponent for me. Kira would just be a different experience."

"Really different." I look around. "Let's go back to the mansion – and seriously practice. Want to see how fast my dual suspension can go?"

"Is that a challenge? _Kaze Fuyu_."

I too summon my suspension technique, and focusing my chakra on the Kazekage mansion, I set off with Temari at my side.


	5. Of Finding One's Place

_Chapter Four_

_Of Finding One's Place_

"So you're up here all the time because you don't sleep?" I observe in my quiet voice as I stare across at the starry night sky, unable to take my eyes off the wonder of it all now that I've noticed it. The sweeping angle of the Kazekage mansion's roof stands against the sky.

"A place to think…" Gaara responds, "look out at the world, thinking about my meaning in it and what I can do to improve it."

_Deep thoughts_, I think but don't say, _as deep as this neverending sky._

"My dreams. Hopefully they will span as wide as this sky, and I will be able to fulfill them," he continues.

"I'm sure it will happen," I say, successfully masking my surprise.

"Really…"

A small, warm wind picks up. It's a gentle breeze that seems to me to be filled with hope, with promises. Slowly I breathe in the wind, letting the promises of hope travel through my body.

"Do you ever feel a need to sleep…? All this time you're out defending Wind Country… you seem so completely used to everything that you don't need what you should be needing."

"I'm used to it… fifteen years, Sora." My name seems different when he speaks it. "Shukaku was sealed in me at birth. It was hard to get used to it, but…" here he extends a hand, looking down at it, "…it's become a part of me."

_Becoming so used to something that it becomes a part of a person._ "How'd you do it?"

"I've come from that time, and I'm not going back… the only place it lives on is in my memories, but it's vibrant there – and it's played a big role in the person I've become. It was hard, Sora."

"Now…"

"Now I have a country to look after. I just remember I really wanted to become Kazekage… I don't know exactly how it happened, especially considering how I started off my life."

"You did it, though… you got through everything. It's alright now."

"Maybe it is." He turns his head slightly, watching a different constellation. "Maybe I'll tell you about it someday."

Silence comes over us and I dare to look away from the fascinating sky and into his translucent eyes. They appear so experienced, learned, yet so… far. Distant, sad. Perhaps his first years were truly bad, but perhaps they've just been the stepping stones into his stable personality.

Or perhaps he comes off as so stable because he's found his place. He seems so in place here that it's amazing – and maybe that's why he's finally found the courage to escape whatever the past had wrought him. He's come back and found his place as a Kage, under the stars, on the roof of this mansion gazing out.

It's beautiful. The way any person can find his place in the world like this… the only word possible to describe this is beautiful.

"What about you?" he asks, breaking into my thoughts – or perhaps continuing them. "Don't you need to sleep?"

I manage a small smile. "I'm not like you – I don't yet know what it's like to be you. I don't sleep too much, but I try to get some every night."

He smiles back, finally meeting my eyes. "I've heard this roof is a great place to find sleep when you've searched for a long time. It's too bad I've never been able to see if that's really true."

"So I'll find out for you."

"That sounds good." He turns around, facing the stars again. "You'll see why. Soon you'll see why I'm here so much."

It's hard to take my eyes off him when I realize someday he may become the biggest constellation in my own sky.

"I already know."

The starlight begins to sing, feeling the night sky and atmosphere with its quiet music. Each note that reaches me pulls me out of the arms of this world and into the depths of dreamland. My knees are pulled up to my chest, my arms resting on my knees and my chin on my arms as my gaze turns down into the houses of the quiet village.

_And perhaps each of these villagers have found their individual places. In Wind Country of the five great Shinobi Nations, Sunagakure, its main village – their individual houses under this soft autumn night. Under the rule of a person whom words can't even begin to describe._

_It must be such a great feeling. Knowing you're where you truly belong._

_Forever…_

The music of the starlight finishes its job as my soul floats off into the uncharted territory of sleep.


	6. Of Becoming Familiar

_Chapter Five_

_Of Becoming Familiar_

My eyes slowly open. The surroundings are unfamiliar. I'm in a plain but decent-sized, undoubtedly nice room. There is a window opposite me, and I see the unceasingly magnificent colors of Wind Country's morning sky. Dawn is breaking.

I'm lying on a sheet on the floor with a slightly smaller blanket on top of me. Still wondering where I am, I pull the covers off me and sit up; as I do, I notice a paper on the sheet next to me. Unfolding it I read small, immaculately printed characters: _"I'm sorry if you're confused, but I couldn't just leave you out there."_

_So I'm in the Kazekage's bedroom_, I realize as I place the note into my pocket and stand up. _No wonder this room doesn't have a bed._ I'd go and thank him for yesterday, but he's probably already busy. Nights are short for the Kage, especially this one.

Still considering the fact that I'm where I am is incredible, I approach the window and look out at the new morning. I wonder what kind of events this day will bring, as I usually like to do in calm mornings.

_Why am I so interested in learning about how he grew up?_ It's probably because I somehow already know it's not that different from the path I took, that our feelings were similar on the way.

On a whim, I open the window wide and call out my Suspension jutsu, stepping onto it and riding out. Crouching down with both hands against the surface of the platform, I ride along the side of the mansion until I reach the Kazekage office's window. Gaara is bent over his desk, working on paperwork. He seems busy, but I can't help knocking against the surface of the window. He looks up, giving a small smile upon finding me. He stands up, walks to the window, and opens it. I pull it open a little wider and swing lightly through, dispelling my jutsu upon entrance and landing lightly on my feet.

"Hey," he says quietly.

"Are you too busy?" I ask, suddenly a little guilty at interrupting.

"No…" A crooked smile crosses his face, "Is it a good place?"

"_I've heard this roof is a great place to find sleep… It's too bad I've never been able to see if that's really true."_

"It's great. The stars sing to you." I return his smile, then continue. "Thanks for what you did, though."

"No, it's nothing."

_But it wasn't really nothing. I have to find a way to repay him._ Looking around his office, I approach his desk and pull over a chair on the other side of the desk to his side, standing behind it. "I'll help you with your paperwork."

"I don't really need help," he starts, but I'm already sitting down and rifling through the stack of pages. "Wow, you really have a lot to do. I really want to see what it's like."

After a short pause, he sighs and turns back to the pile on his desk, sitting down. "Sora, I'm still kind of curious about you. It's a little hard for anyone to want to spend a lot of time with me." Taking about five papers off the pile in front of him, he places them in front of me. I stare at the papers, then reach over and bring about half of the papers over, adding the new stack to the five in front of me. "Gaara, when I said I'd help, I meant I'd help. And you can quit thinking about the time thing."

He stares at me in confusion. "Sora…"

"If I need any specific help with these, I'll ask you." I take the first one and begin to look over it. "It's insane, how much you have to do when you definitely don't set these things aside."

"If I did, I'd never finish. It's because I like to finish my day's work by most mornings," he notes as he begins to edit alliances with other villages.

"Wind Country is really big," I point out, "you're only fifteen, but you have more than the other Kages because of the country's size." Making a new resolution, I continue, "I'm going to come in here and help as often as I can."

He smiles as he flips through a relatively lengthy packet, skimming the pages. "I've been doing this for quite a while. I'm fine on my own. Besides, it gets fun a lot of the time."

"I'm sure," I reply with a small laugh. "To imagine that the fate of the entire country is often at your hands."

"Exactly."

After I finish the basic fill-out, Gaara hands me a copy of his signature stamp and I go back over the pages, stamping his signature onto each paper. It feels kind of funny to be in charge of something so big, even for a small moment.

We are finished around a half-hour before noon. "Where do these go when you're done?" I ask.

"Either someone comes in to get it, or I bring it to a certain person. This person sends the papers off directly. There's many different destinations, so it's not an easy job. So I usually sort the papers into destination groups before I send them off."

I'm amazed. "Your job takes a long time without having to sort everything."

He shrugs, "Whatever I can do to help Sunagakure."

For the next half-hour I help him arrange the papers into destination groups, securing them with rubber bands and stacking them into special folders. Each of us grabbing a few of the folders, we walk out the door.

"Did Kankurou help you yesterday?" I ask as we walk down the stairs, remembering what Kira had said.

"Yeah. He doesn't do it very often, but he did more than half of my papers yesterday." He adjusts his folders, "Like you, I think he said he wanted to know what it was like."

We walk into the messenger's office and deliver our folders. The messenger begins to bow to Gaara, who stops him with a single "Don't." He then shows me the different Sunagakure messenger hawks, including Takamaru, our swiftest carrier – a bird we don't usually set to work unless the village is undergoing an emergency. Walking out of the office, we find ourselves standing at the foot of the stairs.

"Any more to do?"

"Not really anything important. Since I finished so early, though, I might start looking at tomorrow's papers."

"Let's go train…"

There's a small silence, then he sighs and shakes his head. "What would you do training with me, Sora? I've watched you in training. You do best alone."

I suddenly realize what I mean by this – my desire to get to know him is beginning to speak on its own. "That's not the kind of training I mean. Training is for people at similar levels and abilities if it's to help them all. In a different kind of way we're at similar distances. We know the same feelings and aren't too familiar with others. I think you know this like I do – that this is something we can improve together."

As it sinks in, he nods slowly. "Alright… Sora, have you seen Wind Country outside of Sunagakure?"

"No."

"I'll give you a tour of Wind Country."

"That sounds good, but how are we going to do this…? The country's huge. It would take us days and days just to reach the next village."

He smiles slightly at this, "Don't worry, I have my ways." Turning, he starts up the stairs, beckoning for me to follow.


	7. Of A Heart, Crumbling to Pieces

_Chapter Six_

_Of A Heart, Crumbling to Pieces_

_Back up the stairs…?_

Quickly I follow him, plodding up the long flights of stairs until we reach the highest floor. We take a familiar path, past Kira's and my room, past his bedroom, past his office, and step through a familiar door. I step onto the roof behind Gaara, and we walk to the edge. Judging by the position of the sun, it's just less than an hour after noon. The two of us stand side by side on the edge of the roof.

"I like to set off from here," Gaara says.

"Set off…?"

Smiling, he turns to me, raising a finger to his lips, then wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me close against him. "Hold onto me," he says. A little surprised, I slip my arm around his waist, and he raises two fingers of his free hand. A sand barrier circles us, and soon we're being lifted into the air on a platform of sand.

"_Sabaku Kokubin."_

The barrier vanishes and the platform solidifies itself. Our path soon becomes sturdy while the jutsu continues to rise. We seem to be nearing the clouds.

"Let's not go too high…" I suggest absentmindedly, looking up.

"This is high enough anyway." The jutsu stops rising. He steps away and drops to one knee. "Look around. You can see all of Sunagakure from here."

I look over the edge of the platform and immediately regret it. The height is dizzying. Stepping back, I turn and smile at him, a little sheepishly. He shakes his head. "You won't fall. Anyway… you can sit down now, we'll be awhile. You said yourself that Wind Country isn't small."

The minute I sit down, the jutsu begins to move slowly forward. "Is this all timed?" I ask him, surprised.

"Thought," he replies. _No wonder everything's so perfect._

"Is this for long distances?"

"Yeah, it's what I use when I'm looking over Wind Country. I have a separate jutsu for short distances. This isn't nearly as fast as _Sabaku Fuyu_, though."

_Suspension technique for short distances… just like mine._

"Is it hard looking after so much?" I wonder out loud.

"My will is to protect these villagers," Gaara responds. "I want to feel needed… not as a frightening weapon, but as a reliable leader. I want to give these people someone to look up to."

A cold shock sears through me.

"What? You were used as a weapon?"

"In my childhood… A while ago."

I look down at the village rapidly receding below us. "A while ago… by the same people you're trying to protect now?"

"The very same."

"No… no way… no. You're fifteen. You're not even a young adult yet. This means this wasn't that long ago."

"You could say that." There's a little pause. "I'm sure you know why."

"I don't know all of it."

"It was because of _Ichibi_, _Shukaku_. It was sealed into me at birth by one of the two elders of the village when Sunagakure was facing times of crisis. A sacrifice was needed for this seal, and my mother was used. She never loved me… she cursed me and she cursed the village until her last moments. I was shunned by my family immediately… there was nothing to speak of the villagers." He looks down, continuing. "I'd reach out to them, but it never worked. It wasn't ever seen in the proper light. In my family I was known as my mother's killer and people simply assumed everything that had gone wrong, even the crisis before my birth, had been my fault. The only one I'd thought cared for me was my mother's brother, Yashamaru."

I follow his gaze downward and scrape a few grains of sand from the surface I'm riding, playing with them and pulling them through my fingers. I'd never heard anything of this sort before.

"The Fourth Kazekage, my dad, began to send assassination attempts on me – I killed them without realizing what I was doing. I was so confused… I didn't realize… until the day my dad sent Yashamaru in a disguise. I wounded him fatally without knowing who it was. He took off his disguise and told me he could have turned down the mission and decided to take it because he'd always hated me in secret for killing his sister. He asked me to 'please die' and blew himself up as a last effort. I survived," he gestures to the _kanji_, **愛** (love), on his forehead, "and created this with my sand to represent a person who lived only for himself and loved only himself. I figured one had to have a purpose in life… and I thought I'd finally found mine."

There is another small silence while the once gentle breeze intensifies, whistling through my ears.

"For a few years this lasted. Perhaps I didn't know who I'd become, or what I was doing. But just two years ago I realized I wanted to change this lonely road. I realized that the only way to do this was to forge this new path with my own power. I didn't want the villagers' fear of me to grow any more. And through forging this new road I realized that feelings… anger, sorrow, even joy… are meant to be shared. That being able to express and share emotions is a sign of strength, not weakness. It took a while. I became the Fifth Kazekage earlier this year; the people respect me, and I'm doing the best I can. I've come far, but I can't deny the fact that my past remains an indelible part of me…" He trails off.

_Why? Why do these things happen?_

I concentrate on the pace of the grains of sand as they slip through my fingers to rejoin the surface of the jutsu. A few moments later I'm surprised as the sand directly under me begins to darken and my eyes begin to blur.

_I can't remember the last time I've shed tears. It's come to a point where I don't even recognize the feeling anymore._

My fingers lift to my eyes and return dripping with tears. _What is this supposed to mean?_ They quickly dry in the wind. A few moments later I drop my head into my hands as a sudden headache seems to split my skull in two.

_This doesn't make sense. I don't understand._

_Aren't some things just impossible…? If things of this caliber wouldn't be impossible, I just can't see what would be._

_Maybe this isn't happening. Perhaps I'm just dreaming._

"Sora."

The sound of his voice tells me I'm not.

Water slowly drips through my fingers as I fight to remain breathing independent of my tears.

_When I came here, I must have thought life wouldn't go this way anymore._

"Sora-"

"I don't understand." I cut him off, abruptly raising my head to stare at him. "It's not right. I don't understand."

"Things just-"

"I don't understand." My voice fades away into a whisper as my head drops back into my hands. "I wish I could. I wish I could figure out – even for one day – why these things happen. But I can't…"

"I know, Sora. I know… No one can explain the ways of the world, however much we want to."

Silence fills the air as I grapple with my thoughts. A belief that had for some time lain dormant is rising again to the surface.

"…But at least to know we aren't the only ones who are confused. Let's keep going, Sora."

_It's what I can do for now. I can think later. I can attempt to forget the overwhelming past I've just heard and actually enjoy the tour._

The flight of the jutsu speeds up. I look out at the sprawling desert lands of Wind Country, the barren yet beautiful lands that seem to stretch on forever. Even as high as we are, the lands continue on for as far as the eye can see.

It's not long before we encounter another village. The layout of the village is similar to Sunagakure's with the exception of there not being a central building which all the roads in the city lead to. It is maybe half the size of Wind Country's main village, with around half its action. Gaara begins to list the details of this village that we're now passing. I listen attentively, interested in his genuine knowledge of the country.

"We'll be passing the one lake in the middle of Wind Country now. It comes off a cliff that's actually pretty high, so it's really difficult to get water from there… We have separate water towers running from other countries' rivers. The Wind Lake simply stands as a marked monument of the country." His voice is light and slightly carefree, the way it was when we first left on our little excursion. I'm beginning to appreciate everything he's doing for me; I'm beginning to admire him for his extensive, genuine interest in the world he leads.

_If it was ever possible for Gaara to trust, I wouldn't let him down… I'd let him know not everything in this world is as hopeless as he would have been led to believe._

As soon as the thought occurs to me, I try to dismiss it. He wouldn't be able to trust anyone after what's happened to him. Anyway, the dormant fear in me has been awakened at his story… I'd never believed in love or the goodness of the human nature. How could I have believed in human goodness when all they'd done was disappoint me, failing to live up to what I'd expected from them? After meeting Gaara I'd allowed this belief to slide, thinking, _here is the perfect example of a person who is living well, a person who, by himself, can prove wrong what I thought about people in general._ But then hearing about what fate has dealt to even this person has become an admonishment never to let go of my initial beliefs.

Gaara continues speaking about the area we're around. I look over at him as mixed emotions wash over me.

_Life. It's short and brutal. It's characterized by a lack of hope, emotion, or sanity._

I reach over and rest my hand in his.

The second I do this, he trails off, slowly looking down.

_Life. Too often it can't go on. Too often the people it is subjected to turn helplessly in the other direction, begging for death._

_A fate that is so much more final, unchanging… and at the same time not as cruel._

He slowly closes his fingers over mine, and a warmth unlike any I've known spreads through me.

_As people, unable to give themselves completely over to death, flee in all directions, running from everyone and everything they've come to know… in other directions. So many of us._

I think I know the word for this kind of warmth… but I don't want to know. How could I? I shouldn't be capable of feeling this way.

We sit in silence, watching over the country together.

Somehow I feel I won't be here for long. Even when he did nothing wrong, he'd been shunned by everyone, even his family… Is there anything I can do for him now, after fifteen years? How could he be able to trust after this?

I want to stay by his side. I won't hurt him.

But if it isn't good for him… I'll enjoy the time we do have.

For the rest of the tour, his warm hand seems to send through mine memories of a family I never knew.


	8. Of The Widening Rift

_Chapter Seven_

_Of The Widening Rift_

"Where have you been?"

Kira is standing beside another new-looking picture of her and Kankurou as I trudge wearily through the door. I notice absentmindedly that she looks almost angry. "Why don't you let people know before you go off on disappearing trips that last the entire day?"

I walk past her without replying, sinking down onto the floor next to my mattress. "Sorry."

She approaches me, sitting down on my mattress. "I didn't see you around at night yesterday either. Is there somewhere new you go off to train now?" Perhaps she is oblivious to the fact that while I'm physically quiet as usual, a ferocious battle is taking place inside my mind.

"No. I wasn't training today; I was with Gaara."

"Oh, you address Kazekage-sama by his name now," Kira notes. _I always have_, I think. _Most of you might know him simply as the Kazekage, as this amazing leader, but I've always felt I know __**him**__, beyond his title_. "Speaking of him – I think I saw you with him by the messenger's office around noon or so."

"We… get along, okay?" _To say the least_, I add mentally. I stare my sister briefly in the eyes. _Why does it feel like I barely know her lately? Aside from the fact that I don't see her much… she should still seem like my sister_. Looking away uncomfortably, I stare at the intricate patterns on the wooden floor.

Inside me the battle rages.

_I can't do anything more for him_, one side of my mind argues.

_It won't hurt him. What you're planning now might_, the other side insists.

_He'll never be able to see true love…_

…_At this rate. So teach him._

_I'm not supposed to feel this way. It's going to hurt me, but I feel it's the best thing to do for us both now that it's come to this._

"Sora, what's with you?" Kira's voice brings me quickly back to reality. "You seem distracted…"

"I'm not distracted." I know it's a horrible lie the second it's out of my mouth, and Kira catches onto it, climbing to her feet. "I'll go get Kazekage-sama, then…"

"No, don't," I insist.

"He'll listen to you, he'll help you, won't he?"

"He will, but…" I trail off awkwardly and turn my gaze down. "You don't understand."

_If I'm going to do this, I shouldn't see him again. Our paths will certainly cross in the near or distant future, but it shouldn't anymore now._

"I don't understand because you're not telling me anything."

"Just let me think, Kira." I'm trying to gather up enough courage to confirm my belief in my next action.

"What to think about, though…?"

"I'm going to take a quick walk," I tell my sister as I slowly climb to my feet.

"You just got back. You should get some rest."

"I'll be back in just ten minutes." I walk past her and out the door before she can reply, breaking into a run as I make my way down the several flights of stairs and to the lowest floor.

_It was stifling in there all of a sudden._ Jogging out the door of the mansion, I stop suddenly in my tracks, looking out at the sleeping village. It's beautiful in its own way… as worn and dull as it may appear, each and every part of the village adds warmth, charisma, and flavor to the whole.

I'm struck with a different kind of emotion as I realize this is the village I've come to love.

For the first time… Looking out at the structuring of each individual building that I've studied so meticulously during my time here, looking up at the calm, star-filled night sky that seems to blend so perfectly with the outline of the village… I find that I am able to describe the word _home_.

Words that have been so unfamiliar to me for a long time are finding their ways into my heart ever since the day I stepped foot in Sunagakure.

But is this enough? These different sentiments…? Do I even have the right to experience them, as long as I'm here…?

I can't seem to turn away from the soft lights of the sleeping village slowly enough, and my feet are moving all too quickly as they trudge back up the steps. Despite myself… I've finally decided the best thing to do.

And perhaps doing this as quickly as possible will make everything a little less painful.

**I know, I know… I just reread this chapter and I know all of you must be finding this very, very confusing. I promise the next chapter will clear everything up for you guys, so just a few more days…**


	9. Of Incomplete Farewells

_Chapter Eight_

_Of Incomplete Farewells_

The sun finishes rising, lighting the dark sky with its brilliant colors. Wind Country mornings are always beautiful. _If I only had forever to enjoy them…_

"What do you mean, you're leaving the village?!" Temari asks, turning away from the scene to stare at me. "You can't just leave!"

"I've already explained it to you."

"How do you know it's not good for Gaara? You could _teach_ him!"

In spite of myself I give a small smile. "It's… not that simple. I'm not even supposed to be able to _learn_ this, much less teach it to someone else. He shouldn't be capable of this, either. Gaara just escaped his miserable childhood. Why doesn't he stay safe in this new world he created with his own power…? His emotions are still very insecure. Let's say I become too important to him, and something happens to me. I don't want something like this to happen to him. And it's frightening, I'm not going to know how to control these different feelings… They were never meant for me, and they never will be."

"Mental." Temari shakes her head. "So you're not only denying him the right to learn a perfectly necessary feeling, but you're also denying this to yourself."

I pause. Think of it as she may.

"And Kira? You're just going to leave her?"

"I'm willing to, since she's happy here… She shouted at me when I told her. She said it's just like me to want to leave when she's finally happy with you and Kankurou-dono as friends. She said Sunagakure is nothing like Mist Country was. She told me she thought I fit in well here too, and wanted to know why I was leaving. But of course I couldn't tell her…" A strangely peaceful expression fills my face. "Temari, don't doubt this… I was happy here too. I still am, and I'm not leaving because I want to. It's because I have to if I'd like to do what's best for Gaara. I told Kira it's okay if she stayed, I never meant to drag her along anyway. I don't think I'm supposed to have family ties anymore, either."

"You don't have to leave, though, Sora. If you _have_ to, you can just keep from seeing Gaara anymore-"

"No, Temari, that really wouldn't work. He's the Kazekage, I'll see him… he'll know that I'm _here_… and he'll wonder about me. Especially because I just learned about his childhood, he'll think I'm shunning him like everyone else. And anyway, once I've gotten to know him as a person, I can't live in the same mansion, same village as him without continuing to get to know him. I won't be able to stop myself from wanting to go see him, wondering how he is. If I'm somewhere else, I won't be able to."

"Where are you going to go, though? Back to Mist or Konoha,…?"

"I was thinking of Konoha, to see if I have any family left besides Kira. But that doesn't work because I know the way from Suna to Konoha and back. If I really wanted to, I could come back. I want to go somewhere I don't know. I'll travel, and I'll find somewhere to rebegin my life. If I don't know where I am… then even if I wanted to come back… I wouldn't be able to."

"That's just torturing yourself. I really don't think this is a good idea, Sora…"

"I'm sorry, Temari-san…"

"The respectful name…?" Temari looks confused.

I try to give a better smile this time, extending my arm toward the rest of Sunagakure. "I don't belong to this village anymore. I can't be your comrade any longer."

"And this is something you really have your mind set on…?"

"Yeah. I apologize… but neither you nor Kira can stop me now." I gesture to the backpack I'm wearing in place of my messenger bag, relatively packed with my messenger bag included in its inventory. "I'm leaving this morning… now. But before I go, I need to ask you a favor. Now that I'm gone, you're the only one who can do this."

"What is it, Sora?" she asks quietly, as she rises slowly to her feet after me.

I swallow hard, giving a sad sigh.

"Talk to Gaara for me about this. Yesterday while I was helping him with paperwork, I told him that I'd come in here often to help. Tell him I'm sorry for breaking my promise… He has so much work. I don't think anyone realizes, but he does… Unlike me, you seem a loyal sibling… I'm leaving Sunagakure and Kira, but I can't picture you leaving. As his sister, help him sometime. Take my place… since… I'm not coming back. And when he notices I'm gone for good and asks you, don't mention anything about him… don't even tell him I left for him. If he directly asks if he had anything to do with it, he deserves to know and I can't bear you not telling him anymore after that. Just tell him Sora made it very clear that she knew this was the best thing for him." I swallow the lump in my throat, continuing, "Just… please, _please_ make sure he knows I'm not like everyone else, that I didn't leave because I no longer wanted to be with him or anything. The timing couldn't be worse… he just told me about how he grew up. Make sure he knows hearing about his past only wanted me to stay more." I kick at the edge of the roof, as if trying to figure out the best way to depart it. "Thank him from me for telling me everything. Make sure he knows how I feel about him and that my feelings won't change. And make sure he knows that the one thing he learned from me was that he's not alone in this world and that it isn't as hopeless as he's come to believe. Wherever I am, I'll be thinking of him… tell him I'll be out there. And finally… leave him my best." I turn my head from the roof to the sky. "Sunagakure has been and will always be the closest thing to my home and to my heart. I'll never forget you guys. It might be painful, but if it isn't too painful… try to remember me. Goodbye…"

I perform five quick, familiar seals. When my Suspension jutsu sets itself up, I jump onto it and lift off the Kazekage mansion for the final time. This is not a long-distance jutsu, but I don't have a jutsu like Gaara's. It's the best I have for now… at least I can see into the distance.

I rise higher. Right before I exit hearing range, I hear Temari's final shout:

"Be sure to come back soon!"

_But she knows it's not going to happen._

As I finish my rise and begin to move on, moisture threatens at the corners of my eyes and I begin to turn my gaze back to the village I'd loved so much, but I stop myself. _Don't turn to look. If you do, the tears will spill_, I command myself. _You're living a new life. No more being weak. No more being selfish. No more being dependent._

My eyes lift, focusing in on the distant horizon.

_Where will I go?_

Without even thinking about it I turn my jutsu toward the cliffs – taking a very familiar path. And when my jutsu crosses the threshold of Sunagakure for the final time, there is no longer any question as to which direction I will end up taking.


	10. Of Tales Hastily Told

_Chapter Nine_

_Of Tales Hastily Told_

_You know I can't just replace you in Gaara's life,_ Temari thinks as I disappear. _The fifteen years Gaara's been alive I haven't gotten to know him as well as you have in less than half a year… And even just a few days. It's too late for me as a sister to get close to him. That's why I was so eager for you to… in my place…_

Once the fleeting shadow of the wind jutsu disappears, Temari seems to return to the physical world. Turning so fast she nearly loses her balance, she runs into the mansion, never slowing her speed, nearing the Kazekage's office.

"Gaara! GAARA!"

"What happened?" Startled, the Kazekage looks up quickly from his work. Temari stops in front of his desk and breathes, "She's gone."

"…What?" Gaara slowly rises from his chair. "Sora… she even said she'd be in… what happened to her? Is she alright?"

"No, I don't mean gone as in that way," Temari says quickly, but her brother is already heading for the door. She pivots – but only meets the door of the office as it closes in front of her. Pushing open the heavy door, she tails his running shadow, calling after him.

She's close behind him as he heads out onto the roof and walks to its edge. "I'm coming, Sora. Sabaku Fu-"

"Gaara, listen!"

Temari runs up next to her brother. Gaara's eyes fix on the tears spilling from her eyes, and he steps back, surprised. "Gaara… I have to talk to you."

"Where is she, Temari…?"

"She's not in the village anymore…"

Confused emotions dancing in his eyes, Gaara looks down at his hands, trying to remember the feeling he'd experienced yesterday as he turned the jutsu back to Sunagakure. _It was definitely something…_ but it pains him to see he'd forgotten.

Maybe what she's going to tell him would remind him. He longs for this, making the wish from deep within his heart.

"Go ahead," he says at last in his quiet voice.

And Temari begins to tell him the tale I'd passed on.


	11. Of That Windy Valley

_Chapter Ten_

_Of That Windy Valley_

For some reason, I had chosen to take the road that Gaara took yesterday when he showed me around Wind Country. I had thought this was the least I could do for myself after carrying out the unimaginable act of leaving the village I love. So I let myself take this route. Maybe I wanted it as the last thing to remind me of the one who had been the most significant person in my life.

_Gaara…_ The name had been echoing, repeating itself in my thoughts since I left a long while ago. _Don't think about him any more. He's no longer a part of your life. Let him live the new, secure life he's created for himself_, I had kept telling myself, but eventually my thoughts of him would be more powerful and I'd just let them run free. _Thoughts don't… hurt_, I'd tried to point out in an attempt to defend my thoughts.

I hadn't been paying much attention to the journey because of this. But I knew that this was the path Gaara had taken me on, and every once in a while I'd remember what was going on the last time I passed here, and every time I passed a particularly memorable spot, I'd remember each word he had said as we passed over.

I know I'm not supposed to feel this way, but… _I miss him. It's hard to accept that I'm never going to see him again._

_No,_ another part of my mind points out, _I'll see him again… Just not now. Maybe not in the near future, but definitely in the distant future. At such a time as when we meet again, those feelings will not occur._

_He'll remember me when we meet…?_

_Just like he was special to me, I probably had somewhat of an effect on him… he'll remember me._

I had started out going a little faster and at maybe three-quarters of the height we had traveled yesterday, but I'm starting to slow down. My jutsu isn't ideal for journeys too long. I'm starting to look around for somewhere to rest for awhile to regenerate my chakra. It's dark now, and stars are filling the sky quickly. I could sleep as I travel, but I'm running low on chakra and if I want maximum efficiency, I should rest up now.

Looking into the night, I see something in the distance that reminds me of the one place in Fire Country, Valley of the End. I'd always experienced a beautiful sense of quiet eternity and peace when I went and watched the stone faces of the cliffs of the people who had founded Fire Country and Konohagakure. The clear river running between the stone faces had somehow suggested the beginning of life, despite the valley's name. I'd spent days there at a time, mostly alone but often with Kira, reflecting and training. My name had been associated with the place until the day I left Konoha.

Left Konoha… Mist… Suna… Now I'm here.

I see awesome cliffs jutting out from all sides and standing in strong contrast over the vast desert plains and against the luminous night sky. At this distance, the sand ground seems to keep going then suddenly drop, solidifying into stone cliffs as it does. From such a low height, the area stretches as far as I can see from left to right. On the barely distinguishable opposite shore, I notice a small gully between a few of the rocks – a perfect place to regenerate some chakra.

As I get closer and closer, I catch sight of the slightly eroded path of the narrow, slightly dried waterfalls – it's a pretty surprising sight to see so much water in the middle of a desert.

"_It comes off a cliff that's actually pretty high, so it's really difficult to get water from there."_

I stare at the small shelter I'd found, then look around. It doesn't look as if there would be anywhere to stay on this side of the shore, and besides it would take too long to go around – I'd lose sight of my shelter for sure if I did that. Anyway, I want to look into the lake and see if it's as similar to the Valley of the End as it seems, even if it's the last thing I do. I should have enough chakra to just cross over – maybe the visible distance is just an illusion.

I slow down for a quick moment, deciding, then ride out over the lake. The second I look down into it, I'm struck with a blow of nostalgia – it resembles my former home more than I'd thought possible. I think, even, staring into the cliff faces, I can see the founders of the Wind Country communities. Or I'm just seeing things…

As I ride closer to the middle of the lake, the cliffs curve downward on all sides of me. They seem to point to the faraway clear blue water with their cascading silver waterfalls.

"_Nice job on your new jutsu, Sora."_

_I'm staring up at a star-filled night sky, letting the fading wind from my jutsu wash over me. Kira is standing behind me as I perform my strongest jutsu all the way through for the first time. A jutsu that can only be used under special circumstances, a jutsu that took years to be able to perform without too many setbacks._

"_But maybe there won't be nights like this," Kira comments._

"_There will be," I say quietly, looking up towards the billions of constellations that light the dark night. "Every time I come here… there will be."_

The night's like this tonight… I may be in Wind Country, but I'm still at the Valley of the End, and I'll leave here not today but tomorrow…

I near the middle of the lake, almost directly over the first collision of this side of the cliff with the water too far below. Looking down, I wonder if it's just my imagination that my jutsu seems half the size I started out with. I'm about to pass it off as a symptom of restless eye when the sensation of breaking glass rips through me, shattering through the corridors of my body.

_Chakra… I took too much time._

I quickly order my Suspension jutsu to full speed, concentrating hard on the cliff that is both close now and too far. My jutsu lasts for maybe another second. I feel a spiraling breeze as the wind that stabilized my jutsu joins the rest around me, and seem to be allowed the mercy of half of another second before I drop and drop.

_The lake is too far below… even if I didn't die on impact, I'd be too weary to swim back to shore… and if I headed for the rocks, it would be a totally different story._

Almost instinctively, I raise my hand over my head as I fall. _Let there be enough chakra for this at least…_

There's just enough. A beam of water solidifies in my hands, connecting to the top of the cliff. My fall stops about a tenth of the way down to the lake, leaving me hanging by a barely sustained line of my element.

Already a strong lightheadedness is passing through me. _I won't be able to do this for long._

The sky seems so far away now, but I can still make out the stars that do their job to light the night.


	12. Of Letting Go

_Chapter Eleven_

_Of Letting Go_

The dawn wind passes through my body as I cling to my jutsu with one finger.

_Maybe it wasn't enough just to leave Gaara's village. Maybe it can only work if I leave his world entirely…_

…_and if that's the truth, then I'll gladly give myself over to death._

Beyond my thinning jutsu, the cliffs stand out majestically against the desert plains. It seems as beautiful from this angle as it was from yesterday's angle. Beyond the cliffs, the still dark dawn sky carries traces of the stars, its nighttime inhabitants.

_I lived in this world. My life wasn't great… but I admit, this world was beautiful._

_What was the meaning of my existence?_

_Turns out after it all, I've lived and died for Gaara, the boy with the tragic past. I guess that's been basically everything – I wouldn't want to die having lived otherwise._

I remember the last time I saw Gaara… It was just two days ago. Because I was so distracted in deciding to leave I didn't say anything… verbally. We'd kept on conversation through the warmth in our hands. When we reached Sunagakure, he'd lowered the jutsu back to the roof of our building, and, eager to organize my thoughts, I'd mumbled a thanks-for-the-memories and tried to walk away, but he'd kept hold of my hand. Standing close to me, he'd looked into my eyes and whispered, "Let my past affect me and only me, not you… Don't do anything regretful."

A small smile crosses my face. _I wonder if this is what you'd consider regretful._ _It's certainly not something I would._

_Living and dying… for you alone._

_It's time to let go now._

My finger leaves the grasp of the jutsu as I return to the embrace of the wind. It's the element I was born for, and the element I would give my life to. _Wind… the country I've always belonged to, and where my heart will stay even when my soul escapes the confines of this world._

My heartbeat seems to calm and slow ages before I reach the unforgiving surface of the lake, and the sheer speed of the drop tugs at my consciousness.

The last thing I feel is the chilling halt of the wind, leaving me with the question of whether I'd actually hit the surface of the lake before leaving this world.


	13. Of Weakness and Strength

_Chapter Twelve_

_Of Weakness and Strength_

The following spaces in time… I have no idea how much time has been passing… I drift rapidly in and out of consciousness, hearing a few phrases and feeling a few things but not really being able to coherently connect any events.

"_No, she doesn't need any medical help… yes, we're sure… we're SURE… just let her rest…"_

…_the unmistakable sound of glass shattering into a million pieces,_

…_mixed, lost voices impossible to recognize,_

…_the sense of warmth as the pressure of blankets surround me._

When I open my eyes it is to a quite familiar environment; but it takes me a while before I can place it. I'd recognize the dim glow of the light almost directly overhead anywhere – as well as the unmistakable sound of brushstrokes on paper followed by the quiet thud of a stamp.

I'm back in Sunagakure – in Gaara's office.

"She's up." Temari's face grows into focus above me. Her voice seems to split the still air.

The brush hits the desk and the chair pushes back noisily as Gaara stands up and walks over to the makeshift bed set up in the corner of his office. His face appears in my range of vision over Temari's, who is sitting on the bed.

A wordless moment passes.

"Temari, leave us," Gaara says without taking his eyes off my less-than-steady gaze.

Sighing, she stands up and walks away toward the door of the office. The only sound for a long while is the click of the door as it closes, leaving us alone.

"Sora… why?"

"It was for you."

"Leaving the village behind doesn't mean leaving your memories behind, and it doesn't mean erasing your comrades' memories of you." He sits down lightly on the edge of the blankets. "I was almost too late, was I…?"

"I wanted to go." My eyes leave his and stare up at the ceiling. "No one could have come faster than you."

Gripping the sides of the makeshift mattress I manage to pull myself into a sitting position, the pillow I had been using separating us. He glances at me, but looks away quickly. "Don't tell me that."

"Why... why did you come?" I protest. "Don't you know why I left… it was for you… if I died, it would have been for you. My whole life would have been for you."

Gaara stares down at his knees, playing with his fingers. "If I lost you I don't know what would have become of this world. I'm sure you know I felt something that day, unlike anything I'd ever experienced…" He hesitates, as if unsure how to go on. "Your soul. I felt it becoming part of me and I knew you were the only one that could ever understand me. How could I just let that go… especially for someone who was acting for me?"

I'd been expecting the words, but it's still a bit of a feeling to actually hear them. When I'm speechless, he pulls me over the pillow and into his warm embrace. It's the first time I've really ever been held by anyone, and I'm surprised at how much I like it.

"How did you find me?" The words are mumbled into his sleeve, almost inaudible.

"I don't know why, but I somehow knew you'd go in the direction I took you in…" He holds me tighter as a warm hand brushes my cheek. "And, Sora, if you really wanted to leave… this is still Wind Country. I'm still Kazekage. You were going the wrong way."

I give the trace of a smile. "I'm sorry."

If I could have looked around then I would have noticed the far left window, just now beginning to mend from the shattering blow it'd taken after Gaara had figured out what had happened; I would have noticed the barely disguised disarray of his usually perfect inventory of things; I would have noticed his hastily discarded robes as he'd departed the village after me. I'd have noticed everything and regretted what I'd done to him. Maybe it would be better if that was the first thing I figured out when I woke up… but perhaps it's better that I don't recognize anything in my current state.

It isn't long before the warmth of his embrace draws me to sleep once again.


End file.
